Saturday, July 12, 2008

It's 4 a.m. again, and I'm awake but don't wanna be

OK. Can't sleep.
This happens often. I'm awakened usually by one of the various animals that lives in my house... And I can't get back to sleep.

The ole 'Monkey Mind' steps in and starts rattling and prattling on, sometimes its thoughts about the day, sometimes ideas for new things I want to make. There's never enough time to accomplish all I want to in the day.

I know I need to meditate more, and dance more, and exercise these are all things that can get that Monkey Mind under control. But, its so easy to let life get in the way.

When I got back from Burning Man last year I promised myself I was going to dance every day, even if it was just for a few minutes. Just to reconnect with my spirit, I find so much joy in dancing. I got so much great music last year as gifts. I danced so much at Burning Man last year that I was floating when I got home. But I haven't kept my promise, I haven't danced. I started out strong but even after a of weeks I wore down. There always seems to be something more pressing, a hat to be made, food to acquire and cook, (we can put a man on the moon, you mean to tell me that can't invent a pill you can eat once a day!!? c'mon!) a call to make, my sometimes grumpy and sometimes lovey little toddler Nathan needs a hug, or juice, or a clean diaper, or says 'sit mommy' and pats the couch like some 80 year old man. I can't resist that. Sometimes in his need to exercise some dominion over his life he commands that I cannot dance or sing around him. If you have been close to a toddler who is around the age of two and a half you will understand why I don't argue when he acts this way (nothing more futile than trying to reason with a toddler, distraction is always your best course of action!!) But I do sometimes dance or sing anyway and take a little pleasure in his heightened demand that I stop. It's just too funny, he looks like a little tyrant and he's so serious. Then of course I do stop so he won't get too worked up. He commits 100% to everything he does, including being contrary.

I decided when he was born that I would never decline his requests for cuddle time. Life is too short and I know when he grows up, he will likely go far and wide in the world and when I'm missing him I want to know in my heart I spent every minute I could getting to know him and letting him know he is the most important thing in the world to me.

But, I digress. Non sleep. That was the topic, and the calming of the Monkey Mind. I thought I would get up this time and write a little instead of laying in bed trying to sleep for the next couple of hours. Reading works too. I've got Andrew Harvey's The Way of Passion on hold at the library. I can't wait to read it. I was just listening to him the other day on a CD I have that is a rebroadcast from this radio show called 'New Dimensions' (which I love) we don't get it around here, but I sometimes catch it on my trips to Virginia. Anyhow, I ordered a wonderful 4 CD set with two interviews about Rumi by Coleman Barks and Andrew Harvey. They are brilliant. Rumi is brilliant. Love them.

I'm currently reading Your Immortal Soul by Gary Renard. It's OK so far, very much a rehash of his first book The Disappearance of the Universe. However, I'm only about 50 pages in. Of course I realize that authors always have to do that in case people didn't read the first one, and this information certainly can stand to be said and read multiple times. The Course in Miracles is a tough nut to crack, I know, I've been working on the text for almost a year and I haven't gotten very far. I'd like to begin the workbook when I get back from Burning Man where I'll be turning 40 (seems like a good time to begin something new!) but I really wanted to read the text first, and so far I got a ways to go. I find Gary's distillation of the message of the Course through his guides Arten and Pursah most helpful. I can still see however, that a mastery of this knowledge is a life time effort. Perhaps multiple life time effort!! Sheesh, I hope not!

Well, that's all I got right now. Perhaps getting these rambling thoughts out of my head will help me go back to sleep. I've got lots o' hats to make tomorrow. So thrilled about that, and the fact that my creations will be getting out into the world. My first order ever after my site went live was from LONDON!! I've never been to Europe (but that doesn't mean I'm not going!) but so far three hats I've made are living there and two more are on the way! Awesome. The web is an amazing thing.

Oh, I've been meaning to post the link to one of my Etsy stores that has some playa gear on it.
These are things I wanted to make but don't necessarily need for my playa wardrobe. It's I also have another Etsy store where I have discontinued styles of hats featured. Mostly discontinued because I had to narrow my line down to make it manageable on the site.

-MP out.

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Blogger Ms Presto said...

OK. The book I was reading got much better after page 50. I especially like the part where the author talks about his own life. Made me laugh out loud.

July 14, 2008 8:05 AM  

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